CHUT UP! – comedy series and theatre production- full length in progress. The Kong Show – Stand up comedy. (Excerpt reading at INTAR).
Based on auto-biographical sketches, CHUT UP! Traces Almazan’s bi-lingual, upbringing with her strict immigrant Catholic mother.
RAQUEL- My parents arrived in the Untied States in the late 70’s. Directly from Spain where Franco the Dictator had recently fallen. And in the U.S Reagan had risen, trickle down economics, and the boom of the American Dream on T.V. My mother and father didn’t know any English at all, except for what they had learned on T.V. Switching channels between Sesame Street and Miami Vice. So they probably knew maybe “hello”, “goodbye”, and “don’t touch me again or I’ll kill you”.
Solo Show and ensemble versions
MAMA- I didn’t have choes until I was 12!
RAQUEL- But I don’t want Payless shoes! Keds were the coolest shit in the 80’s but they were 15.99 and the super keds with styles and patterns were 17.99. But we didn’t buy the real keds, we bought the cheapy fake ass Payless keds for 5.99 yo what! Buy one get the 2nd half off, that way my sister Rebecca and I didn’t have to share one pair of keds, damn you go to school on Monday, me Tuesday, you Wed-
MAMA- Chutup!, you wear what I buy you. And jew don’t know how lucky you are that I happen to have money in my wallet. Disgraciados.
RAQUEL So years later when rich hipster kids were wearing real and fake ass keds, my mother turns to me in all her glory and says.
MAMA- Jew see, I always had efashion sense.
POR ESPANA, THE PLAY FOR SPAIN: Series of one-acts that spans from the Civil War to the present, set in the small town of Tajueco, Spain.
LA VENDEDORA– an old woman relives starving war captives with bread and hope.
SOLDIER #6 – Butter! Can you remember the taste? Madre, do you have any to spare?
GUARD – They have nothing to their names.
La Vendedora then approaches the fence. #5 and #6 crawl towards the fence, they smell the bread.
LA VENDEDORA- Not to worry.
QUE VIVA ETA– an estranged couple attend a funeral shortly after an ETA bomb attack.
MANUEL – Those who get blown up by car bombs don’t rest.
ALONZO – Ostias! Blown up as his chauffeur pulled up his car alongside the church in Madrid. That much dynamite, imagine how high his body flew? 150 meters. Or 175 yards. Bueno, he’s the one resting now for certain, we still do not…
MANUEL – (grins) Si, he was a religious man.
PUES ADIOS– an elderly couple Valentina and Marcos in rural Spain are faced with secrets of a dead child before their inevitable death.
He rises and exits. He returns, sits and continues eating.
MARCOS- Tomorrow I will not enjoy anything anymore.
He drinks from the porron. Offers it to her, she does not respond. He lowers it onto the table.
MARCOS – There will be nothing but singing in my bed.
REGRESAR – On older brother returns to a rural town in Spain for his mother’ funeral. When his younger brother insists on surfacing secrets of a dead child, older brother may never be able to “return” home. Produced at New Theatre, Miami One-Acts Festival.
YOUNGER BROTHER- Papa has been coming here like a baby pig, using his hands the way the pigs use their feet to pull apart the earth.
OLDER BROTHER -I want to see him, now, before he goes—
YOUNGER BROTHER – Underneath this dirt.
WATERMELON – (short) The Capitol Plays (Reading) Off Broadway, The New Davenport Theatre. Commissioned by Lone Star Theatre, part of a series of readings titled The Capitol Plays inspired by Wendy Davis.
A mother defends her daughter in an abortion clinic.
ISABELLE -An end. An end to– It can’t continue. What you wanted, isn’t
it? Secretly? As the bump got bigger?
(He moves to strike her, she puts her hand up in defense, this stops him, moves away.)
How were we going to explain it? A watermelon, it’s a watermelon.
LET’S EAT! One act- produced at Columbia Stages.
A cow, pig and chicken detail their slaughter as factory workers through the use of puppets and masks become the animals they slaughter, giving voice and agency to the animal in the theatrical space.
Expanding into a full length where audience members would interact throughout a slaughterhouse assembly line as factory supervisors.
PIG- Pigs smashed to death, bound. I live a fraction of my
lifetime. Dead meat walking —look I’m talking – talking to you factory worker – talking to you – eater of animals.
(Factor worker 2 lifts the chicken puppet, becoming the animal.)
CHICKEN -Did you ever hear the one about the chicken—
FACTORY WORKER 3- I carry dead carcass on my back, the meat and bones – I walk
with this weight because I have to, its my job, my livelihood, the blood soaks through my white work coat and it soaks into my blood, becomes part of me, is it me?
CHICKEN- Laser debeaking sucks!
PIG- I’m still alive. Let me tell them my story before I literally kick the bucket.
3 performers, 3 puppets/masks- costume pieces
Ensemble version in process
MADRE MI MADRE-HIJA MI HIJA – A Latina mother and daughter resurrect Frida Khalo and her spider monkeys in hopes of the daughter having a child before it’s too late.
MADRE- You can’t have sex with a women…
HIJA -Yes I can, there are many ways to do it. Even by myself. My
hands are a wonderful tool, yes my hands.
FRIDA- Your hands can they create sperm? Your hand could be the hand
of the Immaculate Conception. Holy masturbating. I bless you.
2 actors, a projection and puppets/installation
SWING HIGH-SWING LOW – inspired by the life of Oscar de la Hoya, a boxer fights the people in his controversial life in 12 brutal rounds.
FATHER- Mijo, try to work it out with Millie, you have six children, by three mothers…
9 characters, 1 puppet
THIS LAND – The legendary folk singer Woody Guthrie during the great depression experiences a premonition for his tragic future.
FIRE GOD- I took her on a bright afternoon. Traveling from the sun to get to your small shack home in Oklahoma.
THE RULES – An Undertaker, a Baby and an Old Woman in a Casket explore
explore the journey and meaning of death.
UNDERTAKER- We all become priest, we all lead the dead to where they must go.
NOT SO LOST IN TRANSLATION – inspired by the film Tournee and Moliere’s Tartuffe. Two brothers conceal their attempt to salvage their father’s theatre by opening a burlesque show.
MAN 1 – Feathers, fake pearl necklaces, underwear hanging off the mirror. My sons helping the girls paste on eyelashes. The moving of the old world into the new.